This weekend I did something I've never done before.
I booked a hotel room all for myself in a nice hotel near my home and had a solo evening. No husband. No kids. No responsibilities.
And it was glorious!
I didn't turn on the tv, I watched the sunset over the mountains, and I lay in a big, comfy bed all by myself.
I had thought about doing this for a long time, but guilt always stopped me from taking action.
Guilt about leaving my husband and my kids alone (not that he can't take care of them by himself, but it's that "mom guilt", you know?).
Guilt about leaving my house a mess when there is always something that needs to be done.
Guilt about spending money on something I don't really need - especially when it's something for myself.
But a couple of weeks ago, I talked with my husband about my thoughts and he encouraged me to go for it.
So when I ended up getting a great deal at this hotel, I took advantage of it.
Guilt whispered in my ear about being selfish, but as I clicked the confirm reservation button, I reminded myself:
Being selfish is different from self-care.
Being selfish hurts others around you while practicing self-care helps others around you.
Good self-care ensures you are your best version of you not only for yourself but for the people you love.
Good self-care transforms your mood, your interactions, brings you peace, and restores your soul.
As I have grown older (and become a parent), I realize solitude and time to recharge is crucial to my self-care. I suppose I have become more of an introvert as time has gone on, but this need got stronger as the demands of my body, my mind, and my emotions needed to be available to my children every day. It's exhausting and numbing.
Add that onto being a therapist during a pandemic and BAM! Burnout is inevitable.
So while I drank my happy hour margarita and sat in silence, I smiled to myself and politely told guilt to f*** off.
If self-care feels selfish for you at times, you are not alone! "Mom guilt" is real. I talk with my clients about this ALL. THE. TIME.
And it's a huge reason why I created an entire section of The Partnerhood online program to address self-care.
Parents are notorious for putting themselves last and then they wonder why they feel angry all the time, impatient with their kids, and too exhausted to have sex with their partner. Of course other things might be going on as well, but lack of self-care is a big culprit.
I'm begging you to PLEASE take care of yourself. Yes, your kids needs are important, but so are yours.
Not only does the program have an entire section on self-care, but I also created a robust self-care planner to enhance your experiential learning.
I am confident that if you use what you learn, you'll see a lot of improvement not only in your wellbeing, but also in your family. That's why I offer at 30-day 100% money back guarantee. If you apply the concepts and find they don't work for you within 30 days, you are welcome to contact me and I'll refund you. No questions asked.
You are worth taking care of. I can't wait to see you there!
With gratitude,
Christie Sears Thompson
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
The Partnerhood (www.thepartnerhood.com)
Trade Winds Therapy & Relationship Coaching (www.tradewindstherapy.com)